Check out this interesting blog post “Single Child – Boon or Bane ?” by Kavitha Sriram.
Read Here: http://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/kavitha-sriram/article/single-child-boon-or-bane
In the streets of New York, there lived an old man.He used to beg in the streets, from the day, he knew. He didn’t have a family of his own. All his life he begged in the streets, lived with rags as clothes, ate the meager food , he bought from his money.A kind Landlord gave a small home to the beggar for very less rent. The house was small, with an upper deck to store things.He always lived happily and didn’t complain about his life. One day, suddenly he died while begging in streets.
The people who he knew, informed the public authorities, and they cleared his body and gave him their last respects. After that, the Landlord with a helper checked the beggar’s home , it had his scarce belongings. The Landlord and the helper, checked the upper deck and to their astonishment, they found, millions of $1 dollar notes and hundreds of $5 notes, neatly stacked in the room, in a cardboard box.
The helper was wondering, when he had a fortune, why he lived the life of a beggar. He questioned, the landlord.
The Landlord , answered him, “Even though he had a lot of money, he didn’t know what to do with it. All his life, he did something, he was comfortable with. He was comfortable, begging, and he was not sure, what to do with the money , he got from that. He didn’t have a passion to do more. He achieved his daily goal of getting some money and he was happy with it.When he got more , he saved it and again begged the next day.”
The helper asked him, ” He is better in some way isn’t it? He didn’t lay lazy the next day, and daily went to beg to earn his income, isn’t that wonderful?”
The Landlord smiled and said,” True, he was not lazy, but the money he earned without passion was of no use to him.”
The helper understood and nodded his head.
Many times, we find very intelligent, well educated and knowledgeable people in our lives, living in a routine life, happy with what they are doing. We know that, they can do much more.One of that person, was me, just an year back. I was living the life of the rich beggar. I was not sure, what to do with my knowledge. Today, I guess , may be I am using it a bit.
All of us are capable of doing a lot more, let us break, all our mental shackles.
Let us, use all our knowledge, and education to bring a change in our lives. To bring change and development in the lives of people, around us.
Learning is a never ending process. Let us spend just 15 minutes, of our life to think and execute, what we can do more.
Yes, yes, I hear you, I am very busy. And all the other 25 reasons , running in the minds. It may not be you, but it was certainly me, just a year back. But , today, i am not busy, even after multi tasking many things, because I love what i am doing.I am enjoying every moment of it.
If we really decide,15 minutes of our lives is easily affordable to spend with ourselves, to enrich us, to enrich people around us. So, invest in yourself and reap the benefits of ultimate happiness and satisfaction in our lives. Hope to know about your thoughts in the comments section, below.
Check out this interesting blog post “Mother’s Day Gift Ideas” by Kavitha Sriram.
Read Here: http://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/kavitha-sriram/article/mother-s-day-gift-ideas
Check out this interesting blog post “Can we be just Friends ?” by Kavitha Sriram.
Read Here: http://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/kavitha-sriram/article/can-we-be-just-friends
Rahul and Ramya were good friends from high school. They studied in different colleges, chose different careers still their, friendship continued. Their parents knew about their friendship and were always supportive. When, there relatives commented on their friendship, they just ignored. Rahul and Ramya , won the first prize in an inter school quiz competition, when they were in tenth standard. It was a big trophy. They decided from that date the trophy would be for six months, with Rahul and the next six months with Ramya. This ritual continued even in their college days and even after Ramya got married. Ramya got married to a very handsome, intelligent Vivek. Vivek didn’t have any problem with Rahul and Ramya’s friendship. Still, both of them couldn’t meet each other more than twice in a year to exchange their trophy.
Ramya was blessed with a baby boy, Ravik, 8 months back. Rahul married Latha, 1 year back. Now, Latha was 5 months pregnant and Rahul was joyed. Whenever they met once in 6 months, they poured all their, views and feelings. Never had they felt the gap of those 6 months in their lives.
Today was the day for Rahul to take his trophy and Ramya was waiting for him to come and pick up. Rahul came tired and late from office. He seemed disturbed too.
Ramya didn’t fire Rahul with questions. She knew, he will take time to say things. So she prepared his favorite chocolate milk shake as Rahul started playing with her son.
Vivek was away in his office for a meeting.
Rahul, was playing with Ravik, when his phone rang.
Rahul stared the phone for a moment and lifted with a sigh. He started speaking and Ramya understood immediately, it is Lakshmi aunty, on the other side, Rahul’s mother. He was her only son.
Lakshmi aunty must be speaking something for a long time and Rahul was simply nodding his head and kept the phone after 10 minutes. As Rahul was heading home in an hour, Ramya didn’t understand why she was particular to speak to him before, he came home.
Ramya, casually started, how is Latha and Lakshmi aunty. He gave a sigh and slowly opened up. Rahul started speaking, “you know my mom, and she is cleanliness freak. She really works nonstop keeping the home clean and taking care of everything. Latha has to manage office and home. Latha said before marriage to me that she wants to work and give her entire salary to her parents to take care of them. I and my family didn’t have any problem with that. Now as she works, she does her part of home chores, but not as perfectly as my mom. Now, she is pregnant too and she is not able to do. If she says to my mom, she says, I worked triple when, I was pregnant. If I support Latha, my mom gets upset and if I support my mom Latha gets upset. This has become a daily drama in my home. I am not really sure, how to deal with this.
When my mom is not around, I clean the room so that mom thinks it is Latha who cleans the room. I don’t know what else to do. She now called me up to say, Latha answered her back, on some trivial issue and wants me to scold her. I feel Latha should not have answered her like that.
I will go and speak to her.”
Ramya kept quiet, for some time and she spoke, “Do you know Rahul, when a women is pregnant, from the 5th month, the child listens everything that is said to the mother .Spend quality time with your wife and child”.
In her heart, she knew, Lakshmi aunty was feeling insecure about her son and she has a fear of losing him. Keeping the home clean was a petty issue and about Lakshmi aunt, she is a wonderful and loving woman. She was behaving like this as she was feeling insecure about him. Soon, this will pass. She knew all this and understood that Rahul also knows this in his heart. He just didn’t want to see his mother hurt.
Rahul took the trophy and left Ramya’s house.
Latha had overheard Lakshmi aunty speaking with Rahul in phone. She was not scared anymore. If, Rahul, would advice her something on this matter, she was ready to give him a sharp reply . She was sick of the insecurity feelings of her mother-in-law.
When Rahul came home, both women were quiet. They were waiting for a storm. He simply freshened up. Ate his dinner and was about retire for the night. Lakshmi called him in her bedroom and said him,” Go and speak with your wife. Tell her not to answer me back”.
He said, “Yes, tonight I will speak”. Lakshmi was happy.
Rahul entered the bedroom, and Latha was expecting him to speak something about his mother.
Instead, Rahul came close to Latha and slowly touched her tummy. He started to speak to his baby by touching her tummy, which he never did before. He said,”Latha, you have to take care of yourself and our baby”. Latha didn’t understand what was happening. Rahul was caring but never showed it. She got used to it and this act, filled her eyes with tears. She decided, whatever his mother will say, she will not revert back as Lakshmi aunty was insecure about Rahul, otherwise she was a golden lady. If only she could treat her as a Child, nothing would hurt.
As she was about to say something, Rahul said,” I forgot my trophy in the car” and went running to bring it back and kept in his bedroom. Latha understood, he met Ramya. Relief swept through her. She understood it was Ramya’s advice. Her introvert husband gives a lot of respect to Ramya’s words. She thanked God that, her husband had a wonderful girlfriend who was neither his wife nor mother and gave him a third person’s simple advice to complicated problems of home.
She hoped her child if it is a boy gets a good girlfriend like Ramya and if it is a girl be a good girlfriend to someone else, as everyone needs a girlfriend / boyfriend to discuss things, other than their family members.
Latha felt, Rahul was lucky to have Ramya in his life. She decided to be the same to her male friends, who she lost in touch.
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When I was young, my father used to bring some papers to home and used to check with his accounts book of his office. I know the account ledger, I have seen it but I didn’t understand the papers he was carrying. Those papers had some numbers. My father explained to me that, if in an office account, you spend cash, you debit the account (expenditure) and when you get cash (income), you credit the account. I didn’t understand one thing, there were mere papers, with numbers then why they were called vouchers, than papers and why he was very careful about them.
He explained again that, when a paper is shown in accounts, it is treated as a bill/ voucher, which is of importance. You can’t lose a voucher, it is already accounted.
I was amazed by this concept.
Now, I was just wondering if the same concept is applied to our lives, what happens ?? What happens to our dreams, when we make it accountable for someone, Yes they become real as we work for them?
Thanks friends, I got good appreciation mails for my last few posts regarding passion. So the mail was, yes, I have a found a passion, now what to do about that?
So, I would like to introduce the voucher concept. What is the difference between voucher and paper in the layman’s world, a simple accountability. So whenever we have a dream of working hard or think of achieving our dreams, what do we do? Who do we become accountable for?
For ourselves, nah?? We have already tried it hell a lot of times and didn’t achieve it right!
Now, who else, family and friends, yes, they help, but when we are out of track, they understand our problems and keep quiet, most of the times.
So, who else, can we depend on? We have a boon in our society. Man is a social animal , and still in our society, we all have someone in our lives, may be a neighborhood aunty, an office Colleague, a family friend, aunt’s uncle, brother in law’s friend, just someone, who is more interested in our life than, theirs.
These people are the perfect persons who will help you to become a voucher from a mere paper, just approach them / call them with a casual “Hi !”. They will surely ask, how is life and what are you planning, something like that.”
Here, this is the time, tell the person slowly about your passion and how you are planning to achieve in detail. If he/ she is really an, “well- wisher”, that person will say, the plans are wonderful but I doubt whether you can achieve it or not, directly/ in their mind.
Well, you can understand from their responses. Now you have become a voucher for that person. You have become accountable for that person, you have dreaded all these years.
Now, whatever your passion, become healthy, working out, start a new career, learn a new language, or just anything, start working smart towards your dream..
If you feel lazy or feel like procrastinate things, think about your “well-wisher”. Think about their secret dream to see you fail, and smile within themselves,” I know, Mr. / Ms. (your name) will fail”. Don’t give them a reason to smile. This thought process works out wonders for me .After you succeed, they will still have something to say, well, who cares once you succeed.
Also, if possible, join a group of like-minded strangers, as an accountability group. After joining, a daily writing accountability group, my writing improved a lot. Those strangers, have become my friends, as we interact with each other regularly, has also become an inspirational group for me.
A mix of people who are positive and people who are negative towards you, help you shaping you and direct you towards your goals.
So, all the best.
Hope this post helps you become a voucher.
Please comment if you find this helpful and share if you would like to help others.
When I was around 10 years old, I read an article that children memorize and learn 80% of things before 5 years of age and remaining 10% by 10 years of age. I fought with my mom that, why she didn’t teach me, Karate, chess, tennis, writing , entrepreneurship, books, countries and capitals, everything under the sun, before I was 5, or at least by the time, I became 10 years old. I felt very bad, I was upset that my crucial 10 years of my life was wasted and with the remaining, 10% of memory and the whole life in front of me, I can’t do anything. I was really upset, my whole life was wasted.
My mother waited till, I poured out all my grumblings, smiled and just said a sentence,” If I teach you everything, by the time, you are 10, what will you do with your life, after that?” I didn’t understand the question at that time. For me, being intelligent at 10 years was important. I didn’t understand the process of application of knowledge learned, at that age. My mother, further said, “Many successful people, were not child prodigies”.
I really didn’t understand the deeper meaning. Now I understand, each person, has unique talents, preferences and passion in life. Each person enjoys a different perspective of life. As I grew older, I understood that I enjoyed, writing my thoughts. If my words, could help at-least one person, inspire one in the billions that was enough for me. If I would have learned so many other things, May be I would have learnt but must have understood sooner or later that was not my passion. That would not be my thing.
I am not against child prodigies or parents who teach their kids, all countries, capitals by the age of 3. I am just saying to the other parents, if you are feeling, you didn’t do anything like that for your children, just don’t feel guilty. You have given the greatest gift to your kids, to find out their passion for themselves and find their joy in life.
In My childhood, Our English teacher used to say about the WH question sisters and the H brother. The Wh sisters are Who, What, Why, Where, Which and the H brother How? Whatever we do in life, before doing it, if we could answer the sisters, then the How brother could be answered easily. For example, as many Indians, I was an Avid reader, but somehow, I never thought I would become an Author.
I used to write many short stories and poems, but didn’t share it with anyone other than my family members. One fine day I felt many words were exploding in my mind and my brain would burst if I didn’t write it. So I just sat in front of a PC and simply started writing. My first draft was 6000 words. I just showed it to near and dear, they felt it was good. I slowly drafted my draft n number of times. In the meantime, joined many authors group and within a span of 30 days, I became a published author about parenting in kindle amazon.
It was just an hour, read about short and simple parenting techniques with nearly 20000 words. Approximately 105 pages, kindle book. The journey was enlightening and rewarding, emotionally, financially and self-satisfactory. I have come a short way from there and still have a long way to go.
so, friends, I feel the age never matters, If you want to do anything new in your life, or feel something missing in your life, just answer the wh sisters and the How brother will come running , giving you an answer. Find your passion, live your life. Who knows, you may be a candle in another person’s life.
We are always old enough to dare a dream and young enough to start a new passion.Do you know that Shahjehan(1592-1666), the great Mughal emperor dreamt of building Tajmahal(started building in 1632-1643), when he was 40 years old and completed when he was 50 years old. If a person , can dream of a grandeur wonder of the world ,at his 40 Years, can’t we dream simple passions and achieve it? Think my friends.
Each one of us have a talent, which only we have. There is one thing, which only we can give this world, no one else can do it other than us. So, friends I found mine, did you find yours ?
Hit the comment button and write your experience and comments and please share if you would like a loved one to read this.
Laalyet Panch Varshani
Dus Varshani Taadiyet
Praapte tu Shodshe Varshe
This is a famous Sanskrit shloka which tells the way a child is to be brought up. It means that till the child is 5 years old you have to give a lot of love to the child. Be strict with him/her till he/she is 10 years old and once he/she turns 16, then treat them as an equal and a friend. If you may remember, this shloka was mentioned in the movie “yaadein “starring Hrithik Roshan and Kareena Kapoor. The Hindu Vedas itself specify that once the child is from 5 to 10 years old, we need to be strict with him. That is the age we teach all discipline proceedings to the child and make the child feel responsible for all its acts. Now a days we in many families, what is happening? We are not strict with the child in home and don’t allow the teachers, school, friends and relatives to be strict with them. In few families the scene is contrary, “spare the rod, spoil the child” is taken literally and the children are dealt and punished strictly even for minor mistakes. After passing this stage, when the child turns 16, he / she becomes a rebel or a spoilt brat, then we wonder what happened! We make a lots of plans and save for our children’s education and marriages. So what about the planning for their upbringings. Wealth could be accumulated at the time of need but can we build character and behavior instantly. It needs a lot of planning, commitment and implementation skills to execute this plan. You may feel I am speaking like a corporate plan. Just think if a company which is not a human needs lot of planning then think how much of strategies a child needs. If brought up properly your child will rock the world .would you not wish that?
So whatever this plan we call it as family rules should be discussed and clearly written may be in a notebook. Children need clear instructions so they should be clearly told that which act of them will deserve a punishment and which act will attract a compliment. All the family members should agree with the rules. Sometimes children do break rules knowingly or unknowingly to test the waters. When the act deserves a punishment, no family member should interfere to support the child. This is very important for the proper upbringing of the child.
Remember when we were kids we felt happy when our parents were happy, but we never expressed it with them. Thank god! This attitude is continuing. Even today all the children want their parents to be happy because of them. Their innocent minds loves to see you smile. It is sometimes very much needed to be strict with the child for its own good. Just keep your heart strong. Good things will follow.